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Earlier this week, following a ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court, a federal law went into effect that required that the popular social media app TikTok be taken down in the United States. President Joe Biden immediately indicated that he would leave to the discretion of his successor in that office, Donald Trump, whether the statutorily permitted 90-day extension of TikTok’s ability to remain operative in the U.S. would be enacted (as the law that banned TikTok also said that evidence of an active and fruitful search for a U.S. buyer for the Chinese-owned company could earn the site a stay of execution, so in theory there was a determination yet to be made by an elected official on that score before any ban could be postponed). One hiccup in all this was that Donald Trump wasn’t yet President of the United States at the time the ban went into effect, and therefore didn’t technically have the authority to issue—or reject—the 90-day ban extension, the latter the course of action apparently urged on him by his co-president Elon Musk, who made clear in a tweet on his Twitter platform that he doesn’t think TikTok (a competitor of Twitter) should be legal in the United States so long as his own platform isn’t legal in China.

It’s also worth noting that Mr. Trump has consistently and aggressively been in favor of banning TikTok, changing his mind only during the 2024 U.S. presidential campaign and only when it seemed he might lose the election and after a billionaire megadonor convinced him (apparently) of a cause 150 million average Americans couldn’t; indeed, as you can see below, it was Donald Trump who in 2020 single-handedly launched the effort to kill TikTok that’s now reached fruition. So his commitment to keeping TikTok alive is far from clear, to say the least; on the one hand, he and Musk are regarded by many as grave national security threats due to their conflicts of interest in China—which leave them amenable to almost anything the Chinese Communist Party wants, whether or not it’s good for the United States—but on the other hand, banning TikTok is now a bipartisan position in Congress and Trump has promised his MAGA faithful that he’ll be tough on China. So no one really knows what Trump will do, especially as nothing he says can actually be believed.

With all this in mind, one of two things had to be the case going into this weekend: either Joe Biden had delegated to Donald Trump the decision on whether to enact a federal extension on TikTok even in lieu of Trump having presidential authority, in which case if Trump really wanted the app to stay live all this weekend it would have, or else President Biden didn’t delegate that authority to Trump, in which case under federal law the app had to remain shuttered until noon on Monday (when Trump will be sworn in as the next President of the United States, inches away from co-POTUS Elon Musk).

What actually happened is that—as you can see from the images below—TikTok first shuttered itself in accordance with the new federal law, then (presumably because of a backchannel communication from or with Team Trump) almost immediately thereafter changed its main-page message to locked-out users to a note that lauded Trump for promising to save TikTok. Then, 14 hours later, the platform went live again under a new message that offered fawning credit to Trump at a time when Trump has invited the TikTok CEO to his inauguration and received positively gobs of money from a donor closely linked to it. All this created an unavoidable impression of a hoax or scam in which (a) Trump is really just pumping his megadonors for cash behind the scenes as he also (b) could have insured TikTok stayed live all weekend but wanted it down for a period of time so that the 150 million Americans who use TikTok would suffer from a sense of loss and grief just long enough to feel lasting gratitude to Trump for “saving” an app in fact he himself had taken offline (and perhaps so megadonors would open their pockets a little wider to ensure their investment remained healthy). Further evidence that this is all a scam or hoax that has to do with Donald Trump’s particular relationship with TikTok is that all other Byte Dance apps (e.g., CapCut and Lemon8) are still banned, and none (including TikTok) are available in the Google or Apple app stores—confirming that the reinstatement tonight was some sort of sub rosa political arrangement that indeed flies in the face of federal law. That is, an exception has been made so a one-off political stunt could be pulled.

Never before in American history has a U.S. president spent the 48 hours before he takes office (1) executing a vile memecoin scam, then (2) scamming and deliberately traumatizing 150+ million Americans out of a service they rely on simply to create for himself a political “win.” This sort of dodgy conduct is a pretty good indication that—as nonpartisan historians held to be the case after the first Trump Administration—the second Trump Administration will also be accounted the worst in U.S. history. It’s no wonder that a meme is now going around referring to TikTok in the Trump era as “TrikTok.” Users have no way of knowing whether it (a) is back to stay; (b) will instead be pulled out from under them again for political purposes like Lucy (of Peanuts fame) pulling the football away from Charlie Brown just before he kicks it; (c) will come back, but only a long time from now, after Musk has extracted the concessions he is now demanding from the CCP; or (d) will come back but only under an owner Trump has handpicked—he says he’s demanded 50% U.S. ownership of TikTok—in which case the platform might be quickly MAGA-fied and “enshittified” as Musk did to Twitter.

Coda: Additional Memes

And a headline that’s going around with respect to Trump’s preposterous memecoin:

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The Current Situation

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Introduction

This ranking is an outgrowth of my work as a curatorial journalist. In the midst of what experts are variously calling the Twitter Migration or the Digital Diaspora, I’ve taken up the task of curating, analyzing, and synthesizing an exceedingly large number of reliable major-media reports on the new, emerging, and re-emerging contenders to T…

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{Note: While all these cultural artifacts are worthwhile, tastes will vary—so caveat lector, cave videntium, and caveat emptor. That said, if I have listed a work here, you can rest assured that I do earnestly consider it fantastic, and say so without any inducement from any party. I hope Retro subscribers will suggest new Android games for Retro to try…

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The Retro Global Amusement Park: Roller Coaster Edition

Countries Represented (25):

🇺🇸 🇨🇳 🇫🇷 🇵🇱 🇯🇵 🇳🇴 🇩🇪 🇳🇱 🇸🇪 🇦🇺 🇹🇷 🇦🇪 🇬🇧 🇧🇪 🇪🇸 🇸🇦 🇫🇮 🇰🇷 🇮🇹 🇩🇰 🇲🇽 🇨🇦 🇹🇼 🇮🇪🇨🇭

Introduction

As a child, I was fascinated by roller coasters. But I also loathed the sight of them.

Due to issues with motion sickness and vertigo I’ve had as long as I can remember, I’ve only ever ridden two roller coasters: the Yankee Cannonball, a now 92-year-old wooden coaster at Canobie Lake Park in Salem, New Hampshire—where my family used to go every summer in the 1980s because Digital Equipment Corporation, the then-employer of my late father, Robert Abramson, held its annual family day there—and another less daunting but still exhilarating ride at the same amusement park, an SDC Galaxi coaster retired in 2004 that records say was called Rockin’ Rider but I think had a different name (either Galaxi or Mouse Trap) when I rode it in the 1980s (see the “Special Citations” section, below, for a great video of an identical coaster).

In 1984, my dad had a heart attack which he survived, though heart problems would cause his death in 2020 36 years later. From the day—when I was eight years old—that paramedics and firemen filled our small condo’s top floor to help my father down to a waiting ambulance, I was certain I would one day die of a heart attack and even had a particular belief that events like roller coaster rides were just waiting to do me in. By the beginning of the 1990s, I was determined to never ride a roller coaster again.

When my dad passed away early on in the pandemic—again, not of COVID-19, but still under circumstances that made those who loved him well aware that he’d been hospitalized in the midst of a once-in-a-century international event—I found myself more nostalgic for the past than I’d ever been at any other point in my adult life. I began playing Nintendo and Super Nintendo video games again (as subscribers to Retro won’t be at all surprised to hear, given the size and scope of this publication’s Video Games section) and even found myself watching roller coaster videos online.

It was nice. Watching POV roller-coaster rides at home caused me little vertigo and, while I certainly didn’t get the same sense of speed and danger as I would’ve actually gotten being on a ride, I found that knowing a bit about what that experience would be like scratched a palpable itch for me—while not causing me any trauma-born anxiety.

Only recently did I learn that roller coaster POV videos are becoming a very big deal, and not just because they help people who do ride actual roller coasters decide which ones they want to ride (it may not surprise you that some adventuresome souls travel the world trying to ride all of the best roller coasters, which are helpfully ranked—on an annual basis—here and here and here). It seems that there are many people who do not want to go to amusement parks regularly, if at all, but who do want just a taste of what the experience is like.

Minus the high ticket prices, long lines, overpriced food, and pushy crowds, of course.

Virtual Coaster Riding

It probably also won’t surprise anyone to learn that virtual roller coaster riders—those who watch roller coaster POV videos with the lights off, the sound up, and on the best television screen they can find—judge rides a little differently than they would if they were riding a coaster “live.” The value of certain components of roller coaster riding is lessened if a) you’re watching video of it at home and b) you’re partly doing so because you experience motion sickness or other issues when or if you ride roller coasters on-site. (I should note that some people who do love riding roller coasters at amusement parks also like watching videos of coasters due to nostalgia, a logistical inability to get to certain locations, the cost of traveling to such parks, and/or concerns about being in extremely crowded places in the aftermath of a years-long international pandemic).

With virtual coaster riding, you might find yourself considering much more than usual the following aspects of the roller coaster-riding experience:

• The aesthetics of the structure;

• the smoothness of the track and the camera work;

• the duration of the ride;

• the pacing and length of the lift hill;

• the terrain over which the ride has been built;

• the availability of surprising vistas;

• the presence of interesting optical illusions;

• the sonics of the ride;

• the presence or absence of unwanted distractions;

• the ride’s sense of speed and airtime;

• any conceptual setpieces; and

• any unusual track features.

Some virtual riders find—I know I do—that, with occasional exceptions, lift hills and inversions and corkscrews aren’t actually that fun to watch, whereas the sound of a wooden roller coaster creaking in what feels like a dangerous way may be even more central to a virtual experience than it already is to a live one. Even ride components that virtual and live riders are likely to equally enjoy, for instance the speed of the ride, register differently at home versus a park; on video, a slightly slower ride may well feel faster because of something as esoteric as the shape and spacing of the crossbars on the track or the recorded audio’s sensitivity to ambient wind during the recording.

In other words, divining which virtual roller coaster experiences are the “best” is as much an art as a science, depends heavily on individual “riders’” idiosyncratic bases for nostalgia, and draws sufficiently from ideas about visual and multimedia literacy that it’s the perfect subject for a ranking on a website like this one (that is, one whose author is a former professor of digital studies). I expect to make further updates to this ranking as I try out more tracks—I’ve seen, I think, nearly a hundred by now—and do even more to hone my sense, as a cultural critic, of what makes a great virtual coaster-riding experience.

I hope you’ll take a “ride” on these coasters and let me know what you think of them!

Key

🇺🇸: Location (Nation)
⏱️: Duration of Ride
📓: Multiple Launches
📹: Multiple Video Perspectives
🧑🏽‍🤝‍🧑🏻: Dueling Coaster
🏆: Record-Setting Ride
📔: Wooden Coaster
📕: Trackless Coaster
📗: Flying Coaster
📘: Water Coaster

The Top 100 Best Virtual Roller Coaster Rides in the World

{with the “🔷” symbol denoting a new ride added since last edition of this Retro series}

1 | Steel Vengeance (🇺🇸)

Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio

⏱️: 2:11

2 | GhostRider (🇺🇸)

Knott’s Berry Farm in Buena Park, California

⏱️: 2:22

📔: Wooden Coaster

3 | Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure (🇺🇸)

Universal Orlando in Orlando, Florida

⏱️: 3:10

4 | Tron Lightcycle Power Run (🇨🇳)

Shanghai Disneyland in Shanghai, China

⏱️: 1:42

5 | Big Thunder Mountain (🇫🇷)

Disneyland Paris in Chessy, France

⏱️: 3:27

📓: Triple Launch

6 | The Velocicoaster (🇺🇸)

Universal Orlando in Orlando, Florida

⏱️: 1:19

7 | Zadra (🇵🇱)

Energylandia in Zator, Poland

⏱️: 1:32

8 | Medusa (🇲🇽)

Six Flags Mexico in Mexico City, Mexico

⏱️: 1:26

9 | Big Apple Coaster (🇺🇸)

New York–New York Hotel and Casino in Paradise, Nevada

⏱️: 2:10

10 | Hakugei (🇯🇵)

Nagashima Spa Land in Kuwana, Japan

⏱️: 1:55

11 | Maverick (🇺🇸)

Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio

⏱️: 1:48

📓: Double Launch

12 | Wildcat’s Revenge (🇺🇸)

Hersheypark in Hershey, Pennsylvania

⏱️: 1:39

13 | Lightning Rod (🇺🇸)

Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

⏱️: 1:07

🏆: Speediest Lift Hill (6 seconds)

14 | Iron Gwazi (🇺🇸)

Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida

⏱️: 1:49

15 | The Beast (🇺🇸)

Kings Island in Mason, Ohio

⏱️: 5:29

📔: Wooden Coaster

📓: Double Launch

🏆: Longest Lift Hill (102 seconds)
🏆: Longest Ride (329 seconds)

16 | Goliath (🇺🇸)

Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois

⏱️: 1:37

📔: Wooden Coaster

17 | Steel Dragon (🇯🇵)

Nagashima Spa Land in Mie Prefecture, Japan

⏱️: 3:01

🏆: Second Longest Lift Hill (77 seconds)

18 | Helix (🇸🇪)

Liseberg in Gothenburg, Sweden

⏱️: 1:19

19 | El Toro (🇺🇸)

Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson Township, New Jersey

⏱️: 1:52

📔: Wooden Coaster

20 | Fury 325 (🇺🇸)

Carowinds in Charlotte, North Carolina

⏱️: 2:04

21 | The Voyage (🇺🇸)

Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana

⏱️: 2:40

📔: Wooden Coaster

22 | Thundercoaster (🇳🇴)

Tusenfryd in Vinterbro, Norway

⏱️: 1:48

📔: Wooden Coaster

23 | Toutatis (🇫🇷) 🔷

Parc Astérix in Plailly, France

⏱️: 1:23

24 | Untamed (🇳🇱)

Walibi Holland in Biddinghuizen, The Netherlands

⏱️: 1:47

25 | Blue Fire (🇩🇪)

Europa Park in Rust, Germany

⏱️: 1:37

26 | Outlaw Run (🇺🇸)

Silver Dollar City in Stone County, Missouri

⏱️: 1:12

📔: Wooden Coaster

27 | Leviathan (🇦🇺)

Sea World in Queensland, Australia

⏱️: 1:33

28 | Millennium Force (🇺🇸)

Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio

⏱️: 1:40

29 | Mystic Timbers (🇺🇸)

Kings Island in Mason, Ohio

⏱️: 2:29

📔: Wooden Coaster

📹: Front Seat and Back Seat Videos

30 | Tremors (🇺🇸)

Silverwood Theme Park in Athol, Idaho

⏱️: 1:49

📔: Wooden Coaster

31 | Troy (🇳🇱)

Attractiepark Toverland in Sevenum, The Netherlands

⏱️: 2:11

📔: Wooden Coaster

32 | Colossos (🇩🇪)

Heide Park in Soltau, Germany

⏱️: 2:12

📔: Wooden Coaster

33 | Wildfire (🇸🇪)

Kolmården Zoo in Norrköping, Sweden

⏱️: 1:13

📔: Wooden Coaster

34 | Wicked Cyclone (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags New England in Agawam, Massachusetts

⏱️: 1:31

35 | The Joker (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo, California

⏱️: 1:31

36 | Iron Rattler (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio

⏱️: 1:53

37 | Twisted Timbers (🇺🇸) 🔷

Kings Dominion in Doswell, Virginia

⏱️: 1:45

38 | New Texas Giant (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Over Texas in Arlington, Texas

⏱️: 1:57

39 | Thunderhead (🇺🇸)

Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

⏱️: 1:31

📔: Wooden Coaster

40 | Balder (🇸🇪)

Liseberg in Gothenburg, Sweden

⏱️: 1:54

📔: Wooden Coaster

41 | ArieForce One (🇺🇸)

Fun Spot America in Fayetteville, Georgia

⏱️: 1:23

42 | Abyssus (🇵🇱) 🔷

Energylandia in Zator, Poland

⏱️: 1:20

📓: Double Launch

43 | Fønix (🇩🇰)

Fårup Sommerland in Blokhus, Denmark

⏱️: 1:18

44 | Hades 360 (🇺🇸)

Mount Olympus Water and Theme Park in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin

⏱️: 2:01

45 | Incredicoaster (🇺🇸)

Disney California Adventure Park in Anaheim, California

⏱️: 2:06

46 | Gold Striker (🇺🇸)

California’s Great America in Santa Clara, California

⏱️: 1:37

📹: Front Seat Forward and Front Seat Backward Videos
📔: Wooden Coaster

47 | Titan (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Over Texas in Arlington, Texas

⏱️: 2:13

48 | Loch Ness Monster (🇺🇸) 🔷

Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia

⏱️: 2:39

📓: Double Launch

49 | Superman (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags New England in Agawam, Massachusetts

⏱️: 2:10

50 | Shambhala (🇪🇸) 🔷

Port Aventura World in Catalonia, Spain

⏱️: 1:42

51 | Silver Star (🇩🇪) 🔷

Europa Park in Rust, Germany

⏱️: 2:04

52 | Stunt Pilot (🇺🇸) 🔷

Silverwood Theme Park in Athol, Idaho

⏱️: 1:11

53 | Wonder Woman: Flight of Courage (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Magic Mountain in Valencia, California

⏱️: 1:30

54 | Jersey Devil (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson Township, New Jersey

⏱️: 1:26

55 | Wonder Woman: Golden Lasso (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio

⏱️: 1:09

56 | Railblazer (🇺🇸) 🔷

California’s Great America in Santa Clara, California

⏱️: 1:14

57 | Raging Bull (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois

⏱️: 2:13

{Note: See the famous back-seat perspective discussed in the video below here.}

58 | Rodelbahn Oeschinensee (🇨🇭)

Kandersteg Mountain in Kandersteg, Switzerland

⏱️: 2:56

📕: Trackless Coaster

59 | Skyrush (🇺🇸)

Hersheypark in Hershey, Pennsylvania

⏱️: 1:01

60 | Gemini (🇺🇸) 🔷

Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio

⏱️: 2:31

🧑🏽‍🤝‍🧑🏻: Dueling Coaster

61 | Zambezi Zinger (🇺🇸) 🔷

Worlds of Fun in Kansas City, Missouri

⏱️: 1:41

62 | T-Express (🇰🇷)

Everland in Yongin, South Korea

⏱️: 2:37

📔: Wooden Coaster

63 | Wicker Man (🇬🇧)

Alton Towers in Stoke-on-Trent, United Kingdom

⏱️: 2:26

📔: Wooden Coaster

64 | Formula Rossa (🇦🇪)

Ferrari World in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

⏱️: 1:06

📹: Front Seat Forward and Front Seat Backward Videos
🏆: Fastest Coaster (149 mph)

65 | Hans Uber Kopf (🇩🇪)

Erlebnispark Tripsdrill in Cleebronn, Germany

⏱️: 1:05

📗: Flying Coaster

66 | Orion (🇺🇸)

Kings Island in Mason, Ohio

⏱️: 1:34

67 | Twisted Cyclone (🇺🇸)

Six Flags Over Georgia in Austell, Georgia

⏱️: 1:24

68 | Sky Wheel (🇩🇪)

Skyline Park in Bad Wörishofen, Germany

⏱️: 1:40

69 | Cannibal (🇺🇸)

Lagoon in Farmington, Utah

⏱️: 2:01

70 | Cú Chulainn (🇮🇪)

Emerald Park in Kilbrew, County Meath, Ireland

⏱️: 1:42

📔: Wooden Coaster

71 | Turtle Coaster (🇹🇷)

The Land of Legends in Antalya, Türkiye

⏱️: 1:55

📘: Water Coaster

72 | Viper (🇺🇸)

Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois

⏱️: 1:59

📔: Wooden Coaster

73 | Diamondback (🇺🇸) 🔷

Kings Island in Mason, Ohio

⏱️: 2:01

74 | Leviathan (🇨🇦)

Canada’s Wonderland in Vaughan, Canada

⏱️: 2:13

75 | Pantheon (🇺🇸)

Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia

⏱️: 1:21

76 | Manta (🇺🇸)

Seaworld in Orlando, Florida

⏱️: 1:35

📗: Flying Coaster

77 | The Great Nor’Easter (🇺🇸)

Morey’s Piers in Wildwood, New Jersey

⏱️: 1:34

📗: Flying Coaster

78 | Mine Blower (🇺🇸)

Fun Spot America in Kissimmee, Florida

⏱️: 1:27

79 | The Monster (🇺🇸)

Adventureland in Altoona, Iowa

⏱️: 1:37

80 | iSpeed (🇮🇹)

Mirabilandia in Ravenna, Italy

⏱️: 0:51

81 | Intimidator 305 (🇺🇸)

Kings Dominion in Doswell, Virginia

⏱️: 1:06

82 | American Eagle (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois

⏱️: 2:30

📔: Wooden Coaster
🧑🏽‍🤝‍🧑🏻: Dueling Coaster
🏆: Best Airtime

83 | Poltergeist (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio

⏱️: 0:52

84 | Taiga (🇫🇮)

Linnanmäki in Helsinki, Finland

⏱️: 1:07

📓: Double Launch

85 | Kingda Ka (🇺🇸)

Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson Township, New Jersey

⏱️: 0:31

🏆: Tallest Coaster (456 feet)

86 | Storm Chaser (🇺🇸)

Kentucky Kingdom in Louisville, Kentucky

⏱️: 1:26

87 | The Alpine Coaster (🇺🇸)

Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park in Glenwood Springs, Colorado

⏱️: 1:38

88 | Reptilian (🇺🇸)

King’s Dominion in Doswell, Virginia

⏱️: 1:31

📕: Trackless Coaster

89 | Great White (🇺🇸)

Morey’s Piers in Wildwood, New Jersey

⏱️: 1:44

90 | Loup-Garou (🇧🇪)

Walibi Belgium in Wavre, Belgium

⏱️: 1:27

📔: Wooden Coaster

91 | Baron 1898 (🇳🇱)

Efteling in Kaatsheuvel, The Netherlands

⏱️: 1:34

92 | Maximus’ Blitz Bahn (🇳🇱)

Attractiepark Toverland in Sevenum, The Netherlands

⏱️: 1:02

📕: Trackless Coaster

93 | Kid Flash (🇺🇸) 🔷

Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio

⏱️: 0:50

🧑🏽‍🤝‍🧑🏻: Dueling Coaster
📹: Red Coaster and Yellow Coaster Videos

94 | Gravity Max (🇹🇼)

Lihpao Land in Houli Hsiang, Taichung, Taiwan

⏱️: 1:57

{Note: The narrator in this roller coaster video uses expletives. Viewer discretion is advised.}

95 | Dragon Coaster (🇵🇱)

Energylandia in Zator, Poland

⏱️: 0:57

📗: Flying Coaster

96 | Defiance (🇺🇸)

Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park in Glenwood Springs, Colorado

⏱️: 1:02

97 | Anaconda (🇫🇷) 🔷

Walygator Grand-Est in Maizières-les-Metz, Lorraine, France

⏱️: 2:23

📔: Wooden Coaster

98 | Karacho (🇩🇪)

Erlebnispark Tripsdrill in Cleebronn, Germany

⏱️: 0:50

99 | Zippin Pippin (🇺🇸) 🔷

Bay Beach Amusement Park in Green Bay, Wisconsin

⏱️: 1:42

📔: Wooden Coaster
🏆: Cheapest Coaster ($1)

100 | Prowler (🇺🇸) 🔷

Worlds of Fun in Kansas City, Missouri

⏱️: 1:40

📔: Wooden Coaster

Worldwide Honorable Mention Virtual Roller Coaster Rides

{with the “🔷” symbol denoting a new ride added since last edition of this Retro series}

HM1 | Phantom’s Revenge (🇺🇸) 🔷

Kennywood in West Mifflin, Pennsylvania

⏱️: 1:57

HM2 | Montaña Suiza (🇪🇸)

Monte Igueldo Amusement Park in San Sebastián, Spain

⏱️: 1:20

HM3 | Tempesto (🇺🇸)

Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia

⏱️: 0:45

HM4 | Cyclone (🇺🇸)

Luna Park at Coney Island in Brooklyn, New York

⏱️: 1:53

📔: Wooden Coaster

Special Citations

SC1 | Yankee Cannonball (🇺🇸)

Canobie Lake Park in Salem, New Hampshire

📔: Wooden Coaster

This is the roller coaster of my childhood. It’s one of the oldest “woodies” out there, as it was first opened all the way back in 1930. There’s actually absolutely nothing scary about this ride—and yet I can’t tell you how much it scared me when I was just a boy.

SC2 | Falcon’s Flight (🇸🇦)

Six Flags Qiddiya near Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

If built to current blueprints, Falcon’s Flight will be at once the tallest, fastest, and longest roller coaster on Earth. The video below first offers a CGI ride of the future attraction from a third-person perspective, then switches to what you’ll really want to see: a first-person view of the ride.

SC3 | Galaxi (🇺🇸)

formerly at Canobie Lake Park in Salem, New Hampshire (1970 to 2004)

When I was a kid, Canobie had one of the three dozen SDC Galaxi coasters ever built, and it was the first—and also, the second-to-last (see above)—roller coaster that I ever rode. The SDC Galaxi below belongs to Joyland Amusement Park in Lubbock, Texas. Galaxis sometimes show up at fairs now, as they’re designed to be easily transportable.

SC4 | Skyscraper (🇺🇸)

planned for Skyplex Orlando in Orlando, Florida

Is Skyscraper actually going to be built? A few years ago the answer was a definite no, but now there are rumors that this positively insane coaster—which, as you can see from the video below, will take riders from the top of a skyscraper to the bottom by going around the outside of it—may actually happen. Check out the video to see what was (or may yet still be) planned. Even if this sort of coaster doesn’t happen in Florida, it’s a very good bet that it will happen somewhere. The idea is just too good to abandon.

Introduction

This ranking is an outgrowth of my work as a curatorial journalist. In the midst of what experts are variously calling the Twitter Migration or the Digital Diaspora, I’ve taken up the task of curating, analyzing, and synthesizing an exceedingly large number of reliable major-media reports on the new, emerging, and re-emerging contenders to Twitter’s current role in the digital landscape. By considering what experts are saying and what the data tell us, this ranking intends to assess how each of the sites listed below is faring in its bid to become a (or even the) leading post-Twitter alternative.

One thing that many who read this ranking may not be aware of is that there are some long-existing social media platforms that are now in the mix for a big comeback. With that in mind, this ranking not only includes new platforms, platforms that are on temporary hiatus, and future platforms that haven’t even launched their beta version yet, but also existing platforms that in theory could become a Twitter alternative but (as you’ll see below) have some stiff competition for that status.

So don’t be surprised if you see some very well known digital platforms ranked low in this particular ranking. It doesn’t mean those platforms aren’t large and/or healthy still, simply that they’re less likely to be where Twitter refugees end up as the mass exodus from Twitter continues.

As most Retro readers know, I now have accounts on Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Tribel Social, Spoutible, Goodreads, Reddit, Substack, Discord, Medium, Post News, LinkedIn, YouTube, and CounterSocial. I had a Mastodon account until recently. Yet for all that, this is not a ranking of my personal preferences. Rather, it is a ranking of how these sites are performing in the contest to get the bulk of Twitter’s run-off when a site with 450 million users finally drops into the digital sea.

I expect to continue updating this ranking as time goes on, as the question of where Twitter users will go post-Twitter is one of the most intriguing—and game-changing—dynamics in this uniquely volatile stage of the digital age.

{Note: Past editions of The Top 100 Twitter Alternatives can be found at these links: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII.}

How to Use This Ranking

There has been an assumption that what comes after Twitter will look a lot like Twitter. In reality, that’s unlikely—not just because of how much many social media users have come to dislike the Twitter experience, but because innovation in social media platforms appears to be gravitating toward the creation of a specialized user experience (UX). Often this means building a platform that appeals particularly to those in a certain demographic, those in a certain geographic location, or those who are looking to use a social media platform in a specific way or for a specific purpose.

By appending brief notes to most of the social media platforms listed below that highlight their UX orientation(s), it allows those thinking of departing Twitter—or simply those looking for a new social media platform to use, for any reason or no reason at all—to shop for a new digital home (or new digital homes) on the basis of what it is that they specifically are looking to get out of a social media experience.

A Note on Macro-Blogging Platforms, Dating Apps, and Image-, Audio-, and Video-Based Platforms

Substack, Medium, and other conventional blogging platforms are eligible for the list below even though there’s some reason to question whether platforms of this sort are actually in the particular race this ranking is measuring. Why? Because while they are not, properly speaking, social media platforms, they are blogging platforms that have sufficient social media-like features to warrant inclusion here—not least because they appear likely to add even more social media-like components as the competition for the run-off from Twitter heats up. Indeed, with the creation of Substack Notes, there are many—e.g., Elon Musk—who now view Substack as a direct Twitter competitor, which is probably why Musk took the extraordinary, simultaneously anti-competition and anti-free speech step of throttling, de-boosting, and digitally kettling all Substack links and their authors on Twitter.

So I have ranked these and similar platforms in the spot(s) we would expect them to be ranked in if either (a) Twitter refugees begin to question en masse what “social media” is (or should be) in addition to where they wish to practice it—an especially relevant concern now that Twitter is dramatically increasing its character limit to make itself more like a conventional blogging site—and/or (b) these few platforms, as noted above seems likely to be the case, continue adding substantial social media-like components.

{Note: This ranking doesn’t include apps whose focus is on dating, such as Tinder, Tagged, Bumble, OKCupid, eHarmony, Grindr, Raya, Badoo, ChristianMingle, or EliteSingles.}

By the same token, platforms that place a particular emphasis on audio, video, and/or images rather than simply text—TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and Pinterest being just a few examples—are listed here due to the possibility that Gen Z and Millennials may decide that text-based social media platforms are dead post-Twitter and that (in the post-Twitter digital sphere) nothing actually should replace a platform like Twitter.

Key

🟢 = A platform that has risen in the rankings since the last edition.
🔴 = A platform that has dropped in the rankings since the last edition.
🟡 = A platform that is new to the ranking since the last edition.

The Top 100 Twitter Alternatives

(as assessed by experts, data, and reportage, with links to each platform and a notation if the platform is oriented toward a particular demographic, purpose, or mode of communication; note the revision of Truth Social’s rank after breaking news of a possible imminent liquidation)

🔰 #1 | Threads (^) Meta Twitter clone
🔰 #2 | Instagram (^) images / videos 🟢
🔰 #3 | TikTok (^) videos
🔰 #4 | Discord (^) topic-oriented 🟢
🔰 #5 | YouTube (^) videos 🟢
🔰 #6 | Snapchat (^) transient messaging 🟢
🔰 #7 | Reddit (^) discussion boards 🟢
🔰 #8 | Substack Notes (^) macro-blogging 🔴
🔰 #9 | Spoutible (^) anti-Twitter Twitter 🔴
🔰 #10 | WhatsApp (^) transient messaging 🔴
🔰 #11 | Telegram (^) encrypted messaging 🟢
🔰 #12 | Pinterest (^) images
🔰 #13 | Bluesky (^) decentralized 🔴
🔰 #14 | Mastodon (^) decentralized 🔴
🔰 #15 | Post News (^) journalists 🔴
🔰 #16 | Quora (^) Q&As 🟢
🔰 #17 | Twitch (^) streaming 🟢
🔰 #18 | Patreon (^) content creators 🔴
🔰 #19 | Rumble (^) far-right extremist videos 🔴
🔰 #20 | Tumblr (^) 🔴
🔰 #21 | OnlyFans (^) adult content 🟢
🔰 #22 | LinkedIn (^) professional networking 🔴
🔰 #23 | CoHost (^) 🔴
🔰 #24 | Triller (^) videos 🔴
🔰 #25 | Clubhouse (^) audio
🔰 #26 | T2 (^) in beta
🔰 #27 | Meetup (^) group events 🟢
🔰 #28 | Artifact (^) AI-curated news feed
🔰 #29 | Tribel Social (^)
🔰 #30 | CounterSocial (^)
🔰 #31 | Medium (^) macro-blogging
🔰 #32 | Nextdoor (^) local community
🔰 #33 | Crunchyroll (^) anime
🔰 #34 | Supernova (^) activists
🔰 #35 | Hive Social (^)
🔰 #36 | Lemon8 (^) photo-sharing
🔰 #37 | Facebook (^)
🔰 #38 | Goodreads (^) readers
🔰 #39 | Clash (^) looping videos
🔰 #40 | Quest (^) social media analytics
🔰 #41 | Fark (^) discussion boards
🔰 #42 | Vimeo (^) videos
🔰 #43 | DeviantArt (^) art
🔰 #44 | MadeWithFriends (^) inverted posts
🔰 #45 | Pearpop (^) influencers
🔰 #46 | WT.Social (^)
🔰 #47 | Gobo (^) in beta / social media meta-app
🔰 #48 | BeReal (^) images 🔴
🔰 #49 | Bondee (^) teen / mini-metaverse
🔰 #50 | Yubo (^)
🔰 #51 | Microsoft Teams (^) collaborations
🔰 #52 | Polywork (^) collaborations
🔰 #53 | Peanut (^) women
🔰 #54 | Amino (^) topic-oriented
🔰 #55 | Greenroom (^) music
🔰 #56 | Caffeine (^) streaming
🔰 #57 | Truth Social (^) far-right extremists 🔴
🔰 #58 | Plurk (^) micro-blogging
🔰 #59 | Ello (^) art
🔰 #60 | Gab (^) far-right extremists 🔴
🔰 #61 | Blind (^) professional networking
🔰 #62 | Elpha (^) women
🔰 #63 | Pixelfed (^) visual media / decentralized
🔰 #64 | Peach (^) micro-blogging
🔰 #65 | Wattpad (^) authors
🔰 #66 | Valence (^) Black social media users
🔰 #67 | Sunroom (^) adult content / LGBTQIA+
🔰 #68 | uSync (^) a la carte subscription Twitter
🔰 #69 | True (^) selective-access threading
🔰 #70 | HalloApp (^) friend groups
🔰 #71 | Diem (^) women / non-binary users
🔰 #72 | Narwhal (^) in beta
🔰 #73 | Koo (^) Asia predominantly
🔰 #74 | Funkwhale (^) music
🔰 #75 | Applaudable (^) positivity / affirmation
🔰 #76 | Mobilizon (^) activists / decentralized
🔰 #77 | WriteFreely (^) writers
🔰 #78 | GETTR (^) far-right extremists 🔴
🔰 #79 | ClassMates (^) classmates
🔰 #80 | Flickr (^) images
🔰 #81 | Giist (^) beta / powerful post-searching
🔰 #82 | Diaspora (^) decentralized
🔰 #83 | Aether (^) decentralized
🔰 #84 | Steemit (^) blockchain / decentralized
🔰 #85 | Friendica (^) decentralized
🔰 #86 | Locket (^) family members
🔰 #87 | 8tracks (^) music
🔰 #88 | Mix (^) digital aggregation
🔰 #89 | DTube (^) videos / crypto-oriented
🔰 #90 | Peepeth (^) blockchain / positivity
🔰 #91 | Micro.blog (^) writers
🔰 #92 | Bookwyrm (^) readers
🔰 #93 | WeHeartIt (^) images / art / positivity
🔰 #94 | LiveJournal (^) macro-blogging
🔰 #95 | WeAre8 (^) transformative / video
🔰 #96 | SlideShare (^) infographics
🔰 #97 | SoundCloud (^) musicians
🔰 #98 | Hood (^) pseudonymous social media
🔰 #99 | PeerTube (^) videos
🔰 #100 | Hey.Café (^) user funded / discussions

Just Missed the Cut: Other Social Media Networks

🔰 #101 | CaringBridge (^) medical issues
🔰 #102 | Untappd (^) beer drinkers
🔰 #103 | Minds (^) decentralized
🔰 #104 | GNU Social (^) decentralized
🔰 #105 | Pleroma (^) decentralized
🔰 #106 | LUIVE (^) content creators / ad-free
🔰 #107 | MeWe (^) promises no ads/data-mining
🔰 #108 | Mirror (^) crowdfunding
🔰 #109 | ASmallWorld (^) travelers / has fees
🔰 #110 | 23snaps (^) parents
🔰 #111 | Splash Social (^)
🔰 #112 | Likee (^) videos / Asia predominantly
🔰 #113 | Raftr (^) team leaders and members
🔰 #114 | Band (^) team leaders and members
🔰 #115 | Status (^) crypto / encrypted messaging
🔰 #116 | Stage 32 (^) multimedia creatives
🔰 #117 | beBee (^) professional networking
🔰 #118 | Anobii (^) readers
🔰 #119 | Damus (^) decentralized / in beta
🔰 #120 | Only1 (^) NFT creators and investors
🔰 #121 | Lens (^) decentralized / social graphing
🔰 #122 | Amikumu (^) new-language learners
🔰 #123 | Athlinks (^) athletes / recordkeeping
🔰 #124 | Academia (^) academics
🔰 #125 | Parler (^) far-right extremists*
🔰 #126 | Moco (^) chat rooms
🔰 #127 | Open Diary (^) public journalling
🔰 #128 | Gaia (^) anime
🔰 #129 | Public (^) social investing
🔰 #130 | eToro (^) social investing

*This site is temporarily shut down, though according to reports the shutdown could eventually become permanent.

Unranked Social Media Networks

(listed alphabetically; see notes following this section for an explanation of eligibility criteria)

🔰 #UR | Baidu Tieba (^) China predominantly
🔰 #UR | Nitter (^) Twitter overlay
🔰 #UR | Skyrock (^) France predominantly
🔰 #UR | Spore (^) decentralized
🔰 #UR | VK (^) Russia predominantly
🔰 #UR | WeChat (^) China predominantly

Notes: Nitter isn’t a social media platform per se; rather, it’s a different way of reading Twitter—one that removes certain functions of Twitter (including tracking) that many Twitter users dislike. Spore is powered by Mastodon, and therefore isn’t assessed here as a discrete social media network. Due to ongoing events inside Ukraine, Retro isn’t recommending Russia-based social media platforms (for instance, VK) at this time.

Non-English-language social media platforms aren’t ranked by Retro, as their virtues can’t be properly assessed here.

The Retro Global Amusement Park: Roller Coaster Edition

Countries Represented (25):

🇺🇸 🇨🇳 🇫🇷 🇵🇱 🇯🇵 🇳🇴 🇩🇪 🇳🇱 🇸🇪 🇦🇺 🇹🇷 🇦🇪 🇬🇧 🇧🇪 🇪🇸 🇸🇦 🇫🇮 🇰🇷 🇮🇹 🇩🇰 🇲🇽 🇨🇦 🇹🇼 🇮🇪🇨🇭

Introduction

As a child, I was fascinated by roller coasters. But I also loathed the sight of them.

Due to issues with motion sickness and vertigo I’ve had as long as I can remember, I’ve only ever ridden two roller coasters: the Yankee Cannonball, a now 92-year-old wooden coaster at Canobie Lake Park in Salem, New Hampshire—where my family used to go every summer in the 1980s because Digital Equipment Corporation, the then-employer of my late father, Robert Abramson, held its annual family day there—and another less daunting but still exhilarating ride at the same amusement park, an SDC Galaxi coaster retired in 2004 that records say was called Rockin’ Rider but I think had a different name (either Galaxi or Mouse Trap) when I rode it in the 1980s (see the “Special Citations” section, below, for a great video of an identical coaster).

In 1984, my dad had a heart attack which he survived, though heart problems would cause his death in 2020 36 years later. From the day—when I was eight years old—that paramedics and firemen filled our small condo’s top floor to help my father down to a waiting ambulance, I was certain I would one day die of a heart attack and even had a particular belief that events like roller coaster rides were just waiting to do me in. By the beginning of the 1990s, I was determined to never ride a roller coaster again.

When my dad passed away early on in the pandemic—again, not of COVID-19, but still under circumstances that made those who loved him well aware that he’d been hospitalized in the midst of a once-in-a-century international event—I found myself more nostalgic for the past than I’d ever been at any other point in my adult life. I began playing Nintendo and Super Nintendo video games again (as subscribers to Retro won’t be at all surprised to hear, given the size and scope of this publication’s Video Games section) and even found myself watching roller coaster videos online.

It was nice. Watching POV roller-coaster rides at home caused me little vertigo and, while I certainly didn’t get the same sense of speed and danger as I would’ve actually gotten being on a ride, I found that knowing a bit about what that experience would be like scratched a palpable itch for me—while not causing me any trauma-born anxiety.

Only recently did I learn that roller coaster POV videos are becoming a very big deal, and not just because they help people who do ride actual roller coasters decide which ones they want to ride (it may not surprise you that some adventuresome souls travel the world trying to ride all of the best roller coasters, which are helpfully ranked—on an annual basis—here and here and here). It seems that there are many people who do not want to go to amusement parks regularly, if at all, but who do want just a taste of what the experience is like.

Minus the high ticket prices, long lines, overpriced food, and pushy crowds, of course.

Virtual Coaster Riding

It probably also won’t surprise anyone to learn that virtual roller coaster riders—those who watch roller coaster POV videos with the lights off, the sound up, and on the best television screen they can find—judge rides a little differently than they would if they were riding a coaster “live.” The value of certain components of roller coaster riding is lessened if a) you’re watching video of it at home and b) you’re partly doing so because you experience motion sickness or other issues when or if you ride roller coasters on-site. (I should note that some people who do love riding roller coasters at amusement parks also like watching videos of coasters due to nostalgia, a logistical inability to get to certain locations, the cost of traveling to such parks, and/or concerns about being in extremely crowded places in the aftermath of a years-long international pandemic).

With virtual coaster riding, you might find yourself considering much more than usual the following aspects of the roller coaster-riding experience:

• The aesthetics of the structure;

• the smoothness of the track and the camera work;

• the duration of the ride;

• the pacing and length of the lift hill;

• the terrain over which the ride has been built;

• the availability of surprising vistas;

• the presence of interesting optical illusions;

• the sonics of the ride;

• the presence or absence of unwanted distractions;

• the ride’s sense of speed and airtime;

• any conceptual setpieces; and

• any unusual track features.

Some virtual riders find—I know I do—that, with occasional exceptions, lift hills and inversions and corkscrews aren’t actually that fun to watch, whereas the sound of a wooden roller coaster creaking in what feels like a dangerous way may be even more central to a virtual experience than it already is to a live one. Even ride components that virtual and live riders are likely to equally enjoy, for instance the speed of the ride, register differently at home versus a park; on video, a slightly slower ride may well feel faster because of something as esoteric as the shape and spacing of the crossbars on the track or the recorded audio’s sensitivity to ambient wind during the recording.

In other words, divining which virtual roller coaster experiences are the “best” is as much an art as a science, depends heavily on individual “riders’” idiosyncratic bases for nostalgia, and draws sufficiently from ideas about visual and multimedia literacy that it’s the perfect subject for a ranking on a website like this one (that is, one whose author is a former professor of digital studies). I expect to make further updates to this ranking as I try out more tracks—I’ve seen, I think, nearly a hundred by now—and do even more to hone my sense, as a cultural critic, of what makes a great virtual coaster-riding experience.

I hope you’ll take a “ride” on these coasters and let me know what you think of them!

The 75 Best Virtual Roller Coaster Rides in the World

{with the “🔷” symbol denoting a new ride added since last edition of this Retro series}

1 | Steel Vengeance (🇺🇸)

Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio

⏱️: 2:11

2 | GhostRider (🇺🇸)

Knott’s Berry Farm in Buena Park, California

⏱️: 2:22

📔: Wooden Coaster

3 | Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure (🇺🇸)

Universal Orlando in Orlando, Florida

⏱️: 3:10

Read more

{Note: While all these cultural artifacts are worthwhile, tastes will vary—so caveat lector, cave videntium, and caveat emptor. That said, if I have listed a work here, you can rest assured that I do earnestly consider it fantastic, and say so without any inducement from any party. I hope Retro subscribers will suggest new Android games for Retro to try…

Read more

Introduction

As a child, I was fascinated by roller coasters. But I also loathed the sight of them.

Due to issues with motion sickness and vertigo I’ve had as long as I can remember, I’ve only ever ridden two roller coasters: the Yankee Cannonball, a now 92-year-old wooden coaster at Canobie L…

Read more

Introduction

This series doesn’t usually go in for themes—it too aggressively restricts what types of videos can appear in a given entry, whereas the purpose here is to just find the most astounding videos online regardless of theme—but after I’d compiled a critical mass of vi…

Read more

Introduction

This ranking is an outgrowth of my work as a curatorial journalist. In the midst of what experts are variously calling the Twitter Migration or the Digital Diaspora, I’ve taken up the task of curating, analyzing, and synthesizing an exceedingly large number of reliable major-media reports on the new, emerging, and re-emerging contenders to T…

Read more

{Note: While all these cultural artifacts are worthwhile, tastes will vary—so caveat lector, cave videntium, and caveat emptor. That said, if I have listed a work here, you can rest assured that I do earnestly consider it fantastic, and say so without any inducement from any party. I hope Retro subscribers will suggest new Android gam…

Read more

Introduction

This ranking is an outgrowth of my work as a curatorial journalist. In the midst of what experts are variously calling the Twitter Migration or the Digital Diaspora, I’ve taken up the task of curating, analyzing, and synthesizing an exceedingly large number of reliable major-media reports on the new, emerging, and re-emerging contenders to T…

Read more

{Note: Those looking to read up on one of the subcultures that pervades Bluesky after formerly occupying a corner of Twitter, a microcommunity known as TPOT or postrat, should go here. The values of the group include deliberate illegibility, a refusal to discuss public policy at the level of logistics, hostility to bona fides indicating expertise, shitp…

Read more

Introduction

This ranking is an outgrowth of my work as a curatorial journalist. I’ve taken it upon myself, in the midst of what experts are variously calling the Twitter Migration or the Digital Diaspora, to curate, analyze, and synthesize an exceedingly large number of reliable major-media reports on the new, emerging, and re-emerging contenders to Twi…

Read more

Introduction

Yesterday evening I attended a Twitter Spaces symposium in which over 1,500 people were present—and I appeared to be the only person there without the $132/year emoji ($96/year for certain customers) now being sold by Twitter CEO Elon Musk. This is a shorthand way of saying that last night I was very much in the lion’s den as a vocal critic of Mr. Musk: indeed, the symposium was an opportunity for those who’d bought (literally) into Musk’s non-verification—what I call “verifiction”—scheme at Twitter to opine with fellow travelers about all those who’ve made a different choice.

Surprisingly, there were many things said during the symposium that I agreed with, even though the eight hosts of the event were known far-right trolls, influencers, or (as many of them, I kid you not, actually introduced themselves to the assembled 1,500-strong audience) “shit-posters.” A great many of the hosts and speakers appeared to be from somewhere other than the United States, which I suppose is to be expected given that Twitter is an international platform and it is foreign nationals who would feel the most sanguine about “shit-posting” on a digital platform in a way that’s been enormously destructive to American culture. Wrecking someone else’s house is—in theory—both safer and easier and more fun than doing the same thing to your own.

Among the points of agreement I identified between Musk fanboys and fangirls and Musk critics were these:

1. No one believes Musk created the new “verifiction” system—in which Twitter users willing to pay $8 or (for Android and iOS customers) $11 per month need only confirm their phone number, and not their identity, for Twitter to pretend that they have been in some way “verified”—to make money. All of the available data confirms that Twitter Blue is not a money-maker. Thus far, only 400,000 or so of the platform’s 365.5 million users have signed up for the service, which doles out perks that were either previously free on Twitter or were previously promised as future free functionalities (for instance, the ability to post longer tweets and videos). Given that Twitter is now worth, at most, $20 billion, having lost $24 billion of its purported value over just the period of Elon Musk’s ownership of the company (this according to Musk himself), and given that Twitter’s annual debt repayments are absolutely staggering, there’s no evidence that even a far, far, far more ubiquitous adoption of Twitter Blue by Twitter users would make even the smallest dent in Twitter’s increasingly precarious financial position. And all this is quite apart from the fact that as the second-richest man in the world, Musk has no need for money himself—and every ability to pump more money into Twitter from his own filled-to-bursting, Scrooge McDuck-like coffers than Twitter Blue ever will.

2. Everyone believes that Twitter usage offers a financial and professional benefit to a great many classes of Twitter users, among them journalists, politicians, influencers, sports and entertainment celebrities, academics, artists of every stripe, and business executives. While Twitter offers these groups of people far less reach in terms of promoting their brands, expanding their reach, and building an audience than do many other social media platforms (Twitter ranks fourteenth among social media platforms in Monthly Active Users or MAUs, as indicated in the chart below), there can be no doubt that many content creators who have either created a personal economy within the larger gig economy or are partly responsible for building someone else’s brand can get long-term pecuniary benefit from using Twitter regularly. On both sides of the current verification war this maxim is beyond doubt.

3. The end of proper verification protocols at Twitter is something the political right in the United States—particularly the right’s far-right fringe—has wanted for some time. While this item is more of a partial agreement than a fulsome one, as MAGA influencers and commentators repeatedly claim that Twitter has since its inception had a far-left algorithmic bias that’s only exacerbated by its protocols; this self-serving thesis has been repeatedly debunked with Twitter internal data, and even the company has said that its internal metrics show it is not only untrue but the opposite of the truth, as Twitter has publicly confessed to its algorithm having a far-right political bias—it does remain the case that all Twitter users acknowledge that by ending Twitter’s verification protocols Musk was indulging his own increasingly conservative ideological positions on matters ranging from equality for trans people to the debt ceiling, support for Ukraine to what he and the American right define as “free speech” (best summarized as approximately the exact opposite of what that term has meant in the course of American history).

Digital Platforms by Monthly Active Users (Worldwide)

Unfortunately, the list of areas of agreement between Elon Musk’s most avid boosters and everyone else ends there.

Read more

Introduction

This ranking is an outgrowth of my work as a curatorial journalist. I’ve taken it upon myself, in the midst of what experts are variously calling the Twitter Migration or the Digital Diaspora, to curate, analyze, and synthesize an exceedingly large number of reliable major-media reports on the new, emerging, and re-emerging contenders to Twi…

Read more

Introduction

This ranking is an outgrowth of my work as a curatorial journalist. I’ve taken it upon myself, in the midst of what experts are variously calling the Twitter Migration or the Digital Diaspora, to curate, analyze, and synthesize an exceedingly large number of reliable major-media reports on the new, emerging, and re-emerging contenders to Twi…

Read more